Let’s cut through the BS.
If women aren’t feeling that spark with you, it’s probably not your looks, your job, or your height. After coaching thousands of men, I’ve noticed specific patterns that kill attraction instantly – and most guys have no idea they’re doing them.
Here are the real reasons she’s not feeling it:
1. Your Energy Is Off
You’re probably thinking: “What does that even mean?”
Here’s the truth: Women decide if they’re attracted to you based on your energy, not your words. If you’re giving off friendly, safe, or nervous energy, it doesn’t matter what you say – she’s not feeling it.
Signs you’re killing attraction with your energy:
- You’re trying to make her comfortable instead of turned on
- You’re focused on being liked instead of being desired
- You’re acting like a potential friend instead of a potential lover
2. You’re Too Available
“But I’m just being responsive!”
Wrong. When you’re instantly available, always free, and responding immediately to every text, you’re sending one message: You have no other options with women.
Nothing kills attraction faster than desperation energy.
3. The Permission Seeking Trap
This is subtle but deadly. You’re probably doing it without realizing:
- “Would you like to…”
- “Is it okay if…”
- “We could maybe…”
Women want a man who leads with confidence, not one who needs constant permission.
4. Your Touch Is Wrong (Or Non-Existent)
Most guys either:
- Don’t touch at all (friend zone express)
- Touch awkwardly (attraction killer)
- Touch at the wrong moments (creepy vibe)
There’s a specific way to create physical tension that makes her want more, not less.
5. You’re Too “Nice”
Before you skip this one – I’m not saying be a jerk.
But if you’re:
- Agreeing with everything she says
- Never challenging her
- Always putting her on a pedestal
- Trying to prove what a good guy you are
You’re killing any chance of attraction.
The Harsh Truth:
Women don’t decide to be attracted to nice, safe guys. They feel attraction for men who make them feel something.
A Real Example:
James was doing everything “right” – good job, well-dressed, polite conversation. But women never felt that spark.
Why? He was so focused on being appropriate that he killed any possibility of sexual tension.
Once he understood these attraction killers, everything changed. His next date texted him at 2 AM saying she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
The Biggest Problem:
Most dating advice focuses on what to do instead of what to stop doing. But if you’re triggering these attraction killers, nothing else matters.
Think about it:
- Why do “jerks” often get the girl?
- Why do women say they want nice guys but chase others?
- Why do your dates seem interested but then go cold?
It’s because they’re not making these attraction-killing mistakes.
The Solution:
First, you need to recognize these patterns in yourself. Then, you need to learn how to create real attraction instead of just having nice conversations.
Say These Words To REALLY Arouse Her (Fast)
When Girls Chase founder Chase Amante came out with his One Date System, its focus on arousal really over delivered.
“One Date” zeroes you in on how to make a girl your girlfriend with one single, easy to get date. And the way it does this is SUPERB.
There is no system out there that makes getting the date with a girl, then getting her into BED as a GIRLFRIEND by the end of it, so sublimely simple:
⇒ How To AROUSE Women On Dates ⇐
A big part of what Chase shows you how to do inside One Date (it surprised me how much focus this got… though I guess it shouldn’t!) is build arousal.
Arousal is KEY to getting her into bed. And if you can’t get her into bed, you CAN’T keep her as a girlfriend. You must have one to do the other.
Chase gives you a LOT of great tools inside One Date to create BUCKETS of arousal in any woman around you:
- Which places to TOUCH her to create arousal (you can use these at any stage of the courtship)
- How to use “rule breaks” (he explains what these are a lot more in depth) to get her adrenaline pumping and shoot her arousal through the ROOF
- The best ways to flirt with a girl to create QUICK spikes in her arousal… you can use this right away with her
- A neat way to use body proximity and how you lean your body to ratchet her arousal WAY up
He also gives you something called “expectancy violations” to do this… which I’m going to give you a bit of a sneak peek on today.
However, if you want to get right to the MEAT of arousal, give his video a watch now:
⇒ Watch Now… & Start AROUSING Women
He explains the “break some rules” approach to creating arousal.
And he gives you a few really handy ways to pull this off.
It’s a neat, fresh way to think about creating arousal in women. Plus it’s FUN, to boot (you’ll both enjoy it!).
Make sure you watch that video.
WHEN AROUSAL IS MISSING
Once upon a time, Jack met Emma for coffee.
The two had a delightful conversation. Emma told Jack all about her life, and opened herself up to him.
Jack and Emma laughed, shared their commonalities, and whiled away a few hours talking about their favorite subjects.
After coffee, Jack invited Emma to his place to watch a movie.
Emma said “okay.”
When they arrived, Jack tried to make Emma comfortable.
Yet instead Emma sat on the couch, clutched her jacket, and didn’t ever settle in.
At last Jack made a move and tried to kiss her.
Emma pushed him gently off. She told him she liked him… but didn’t want to do THAT with him.
Jack felt crushed. He had such a wonderful connection with Emma. Why didn’t she want more intimacy with him?
This is a common snag guys run into.
If you’ve run into it yourself, you know how FRUSTRATING it is.
You do all the work to build a TERRIFIC connection with a girl… yet no matter how terrific the connection, you cannot take it sexual.
You might even wonder to yourself that “maybe this girl just isn’t very sexual?”
Her sexuality (or lack thereof) isn’t ACTUALLY the issue though.
What the issue is is the arousal (or lack thereof) she EXPERIENCES with you.
Great conversation (despite all the women who’ll tell you otherwise) is not in and of ITSELF arousing to women.
It can make a woman a lot more receptive to becoming aroused by you.
Some women even NEED it before they open themselves up to arousal (Chase talks about this in his “One Date” video).
Nevertheless, what you must do to CREATE arousal is something completely different.
You have to actually create arousal, on its OWN.
WHAT TO SAY TO CREATE AROUSAL
In Lesson 4 of his “One Date System”, Chase introduces you to a phenomenon called “expectancy violations.”
An expectancy violation is ANYTHING that violates the way someone “expects” things to happen in any given scenario.
Moviemakers use expectancy violations to engage their audiences.
When the movie does what’s expected, you are not engaged. The movie does not AROUSE you.
You can zone out, and when things happen, you say “yeah, that’s as I expected.”
When the movie does something UNEXPECTED, and it pulls it off well, on the other hand, you become aroused.
You “wake up” and pay attention. You get INTERESTED.
This SAME phenomenon is one of the keys to getting the women you talk to and take out on dates extremely aroused.
If a woman can predict what you’ll do next, unless she’s TOTALLY on board with you, it’s not arousing to her.
What’s arousing is when she feels like you are in charge, and she is pulled along for the ride… so long as it’s a ride she ENJOYS being on.
One way you create this effect is with expectancy violations.
When you advance things forward with her, while violating her expectations, she does not know WHAT to expect.
She just knows she LIKES it (and she will if you’re doing the OTHER things Chase shows you how to do inside One Date).
Expectancy violations can be verbal, non-verbal, or logistical.
I’ll give you a few examples of VERBAL expectancy violations (so you can get a taste for what these look like).
Example 1: you’re at a restaurant with a girl. She says…
HER: “I don’t like to pick dishes that are too small.”
So you say:
YOU: “So you’re saying you like things BIG. Perfect.”
That’s an expectancy violation. She didn’t expect to leap from menu items to sexual innuendo. Get your delivery right though, and she’ll laugh.
Example 2: you have a conversation with a girl on a date. She says…
HER: “Do you like blondes better, or brunettes?”
You say:
YOU: “I like attractive women I get along with well. If I like her I don’t care about her hair.”
Another expectancy violation. She expected you to pick a hair color. Instead you dismissed the question and gave her something more awesome.
Example 3: you arrive back at your place with her. As you both walk in the door, you tell her…
YOU: “Shoes off at the door, please.”
Another violation of expectations. She’s used to tromping into men’s places and doing whatever she wants.
Then along comes you, making her follow his house rules the moment she walks through the door.
When you violate a woman’s expectations, you RIP her out of autopilot, and yank her into the moment.
You cause AROUSAL to surge through her veins.
Of course, verbal “expectancy violations” are just the start.
There are even more POWERFUL ways to create arousal in a woman… that are even MORE useful.
Chase introduces you to these in his video and course on his unique (and spectacular) One Date System.
If you haven’t seen his video on that yet, make sure you get over to it right away and watch that now:
⇒ How To AROUSE Women On Dates ⇐
You’ll learn the other ways to create arousal in women.
PLUS, inside One Date, you’ll learn about all the nonverbal expectancy violations you can create… as well as a bunch more ways to use VERBAL “violations”, too.
Once you’re using the arousal material from One Date, you won’t run into that “we have a great connection… but I don’t like you like THAT” situation ever AGAIN.
Instead, all those “Emmas” are going to fall right into your bed… and stick around as GIRLFRIENDS (if you want them as that) after.