Navigating the dating advice landscape as a man can feel like walking through a minefield of contradicting opinions and questionable strategies.
With an endless stream of dating coaches, YouTube gurus, and self-proclaimed experts, how do you separate the genuine wisdom from the noise?
Let’s break down what to look for when choosing dating advice that actually works:
Values Alignment
The dating advice market is filled with different types of guys teaching. So the question is…
Is this person’s values aligned with yours?
There’s the dark side of dating advice where guys are teaching hard core manipulation and game playing…
In my experience, this will get you damaged, broken, and immature women who are attracted to abuse.
There’s the Pick Up Artist side, which I put under any guy teaching about hooking up with lots of women.
While this is fun for some guys, let’s just be real, most guys don’t have time to do 1000 approaches and spend all of their time becoming players.
A lot of these guys are focusing on how many girls they can have sex with, which often gets women who are also broken, damaged, or in their maculine.
Then there are guys (like me) who focus more on getting into and being in relationships… this is more of a focus on using healthy strategies and techniques to get you better women, get into healthy relationships, and stay in those relationships (if that’s what you want).
Personally, I think going for healthier women and having real relationships with them is the best…
But you need to figure out what resonates and aligns most with you.
Experience
There’s a lot of nonsense out there… guys trying to pretend like their way is the only way… or guys selling just quick fix solutions… so how do you know if this is legit or more nonsense?
One way is by looking at how long this person has actually been working in this industry.
I’ve been in this industry since 2005 and I’ve seen a lot of coaches and teachers in this industry come and go… in fact, most come and go pretty quickly.
In my opinion, you want to look at whether this person is new or they’ve been doing this for awhile…
Have they helped a lot of other guys get good results? What kind of experience do they have?
Theory Vs Practical Knowledge
A lot of guys out there will give you lots of theory without any practical knowledge…
Maybe you’ve heard things like, “Just be yourself” or “Focus on your purpose (or money) and women will come to you”
Theory without practice is useless.
The best advice gives you clear, step-by-step instructions on approaching, conversing, and building genuine connections.
Look for concrete strategies you can implement today, not vague philosophical concepts.
Holistic Advice
After doing this for close to 20 years, I’ve found that there are three areas to dating and relationship advice…
1. Inner Work
This is your psychology, emotional state, belief systems, etc.
Without making sure your inner world is in alignment with what you want, you’re never going to keep what you want, even if you get it short term.
If I was to guess, I’d say that 80% of long term success with anything in life, let alone dating and relationships, is determined by what’s going on inside your mind.
Make sure whoever you get advice from talks about and helps you with your pscyhology.
2. Strategy
This is your lifestyle, being in abundance, and your ability to get what you want in life and with women.
Without strategy, everything in dating is harder… so make sure when you’re getting dating advice that includes strategy.
3. Communication
This is what you say, how you say it, and communicating the right things verbally, nonverbally, and over text or other mediums.
This tends to be what most people focus on… and while it’s important it’s just one piece of the whole puzzle.
In my opinion, having all three of these… inner work, strategy, and communication… are all important if you want to attract a great woman and get into an amazing relationship.
Is It Authentic?
Back in the early days of dating advice, a certain well known guys teaching it (I won’t name any names) basically taught guys to pretend like they were someone they weren’t.
This was great until the women actually started to get to know you and found out you were full of crap… it was also really damaging to a guy’s self esteem when he didn’t believe he was a valuable and worthy guy because he had to pretend to be someone else in order to get women.
If the advice requires you to become someone you’re not, walk away.
The best guidance helps you become an enhanced version of yourself, not a caricature of what you think women want.
It’s much better to grow into the bad-ass you than it is to try to pretend to be some nonsense.
Can You Test Drive It?
If you’re in a really challenging spot, you may get duped into joining a dating program for a premium price when you don’t even know what kind of advice or coaching you’re going to get.
Many dating coaches charge premium prices ($3000-15000) for their programs… and to be fair, some of my premium coaching programs cost that much.
Before you go spending thousands of dollars on a coaching program, you need to be able to test what kind of advice they have.
Start with their free content, books, or lower-priced courses before considering high-ticket coaching.
This lets you verify their approach actually resonates with you, your goals, and what you want.
There’s nothing worse than trying to attract a good woman into a real relationship and then find out that the guy you’re getting coached by just wants you to pretend you’re a sex craved lunatic, sending out endless dirty text messages to every girl you meet.
It’s important to try before you buy any big packages.
Is There A System?
Random tips won’t transform your dating life.
Look for comprehensive systems that guide you from wherever you are to where you want to be, with clear milestones along the way.
The right dating advice shouldn’t just fill your head with theories – it should fill your life with results.
Your path to better dating starts with choosing guidance that actually serves your growth, not someone else’s agenda.