Let’s be real – if you’re not turning her on during that first date, you’re not getting a girlfriend. Period.
After coaching thousands of men, I’ve noticed a pattern: Guys who stay single aren’t failing to find relationships – they’re failing to create attraction. Here are the 5 biggest attraction-killing mistakes I see on first dates:
1. Friend Energy
You’re probably giving off “just friends” vibes without realizing it. When you act like a polite, platonic friend, guess what? She’ll see you as exactly that.
I had a client, Mike, who was great at making women comfortable – too comfortable. They’d laugh, have great conversations, and then… nothing. Why? Because he never made them feel that sexual tension that turns comfort into attraction.
2. Playing It Safe With Touch
Here’s the brutal truth: If you’re not creating physical tension, she’s not lying in bed that night thinking about you. Most guys are so afraid of making women uncomfortable that they create zero sexual chemistry.
Tom used to keep a respectful distance all night, then wonder why women saw him as “such a nice guy” but never wanted more. Once he learned how to properly create physical tension, suddenly these same women were texting him first.
3. Getting Stuck in Her Head
If you’re having deep conversations about work, family, and life goals, but she’s not feeling that gut-level attraction, you’re dead in the water. Logic doesn’t create desire.
The guys who get girlfriends know how to make women feel rather than think. They create emotions, sexual tension, and excitement – not just interesting conversation.
4. Missing Her Signals
Women are constantly giving you green lights to escalate the attraction. But most guys are so worried about being respectful that they miss these signals completely.
James kept getting feedback that he was “too nice” – code for “you’re not making me feel anything.” Once he learned to read and respond to these signals, women started pursuing him.
5. The “Nice Guy” Death Trap
Here’s the biggest killer: Trying to prove what a great boyfriend you’d be instead of being a man she actually desires. Women don’t decide to be attracted to you – they either feel it or they don’t.
Being reliable, kind, and stable are great relationship qualities. But if you’re not triggering her attraction first, she’ll never stick around long enough to appreciate those qualities.
The Reality Check:
If women aren’t physically attracted to you after the first date, no amount of follow-up texts or future dates will change that. You need to create that spark of desire from the start.
I’ve watched guys completely transform their dating lives by fixing these mistakes. Like David, who went from being the guy women “really liked as a friend” to the guy they couldn’t keep their hands off of – all by changing his approach on the first date.
5 Effective Date Plans That Get You The Girl
You’ve got to have a plan for a date, right?
This is one of the big secrets of dating Chase dredges up in One Date: most guys just wing it.
Winging it is fine, IF you know what you’re doing.
Guys who’ve winged it for years eventually figure out good places to take girls on dates, and good things to do with them.
By that point, of course, they’re not ACTUALY “winging it” anymore. They have a date plan… one forged through tests and failure.
So what if you don’t HAVE a date plan yet?
Must you fail your way through 30 dates to figure one out?
Well, you’re in luck. Chase gave me 5 super effective date plans he’s going to let me share with you today.
Use these with girls you ask out, and you’ll be on your way to some very fruitful dates.
#1: BASIC COFFEE DATE
This is your “meet and chat” plan.
You don’t have to meet for coffee. It could be hot chocolates. Or crepes. Or ice cream or frozen yogurt.
All you’ll do is meet up for a light refreshment, and TALK.
Basic Coffee Dates are handy because you can use them for different things:
- Basic Coffee Dates are perfect dates to build similarity on for girls you meet who are “connection seekers”
- If you met a girl but did not make a strong impression, you can use quick Basic Coffee Dates to get her comfortable with you (so you can do a more “involved” date with her later)
- If you don’t have much time but want to make sure things don’t fizzle out, a Basic Coffee Date is enough to keep her warm while she waits for that full date with you
The best way to plan a Basic Coffee Date is to meet up with her somewhere AWAY from the coffee shop and walk there with her.
This is important, Chase says, because once you’re on the date you won’t move around much.
So it’s very HELPFUL for her to walk there with you first, so she has the memory of being in more than one place with you.
Basic Coffee Dates can run from 30 minutes to 2 hours.
When the date is over, you can say your farewells… or if it’s gone well, you can exit the coffee shop with her and switch to one of the next four dates.
What do you DO on a Basic Coffee Date?
You do everything Chase talks about for the “similarity date” inside One Date.
Just log into One Date, hit “Play” on Lesson 4, and Chase spells it all out for you.
Follow the steps he lays out and you and your date will have an unbelievable connection in a very short amount of time.
#2: LAUGHS & THRILLS DATE
The Laughs & Thrills Date is a fun, involving date to take rambunctious date partners on.
This date follows the “arousal date” structure from One Date.
Do what Chase gives you to do inside Lesson 4 on arousal dates, and you’ll have her BURSTING with arousal.
The Laughs & Thrills date plan sets the scene for your One Date arousal building by putting you in an environment that makes arousal EASY.
This date is at a place with an active entertainment that spikes feelings of arousal. Examples that work great include:
- Hilarious comedy shows
- Escape rooms
- Going dancing (salsa class works great if you’re not a dancer)
- Roller coasters
- Laser tag
- Arcades (Skee ball and air hockey are both awesome for this!)
Once you’re there, follow the steps from Lesson 4 on building arousal and you will fast find yourself with one very aroused woman.
#3: ADVENTURE DATE
The Adventure Date is another arousal date, like Laughs & Thrills.
You’ll use the same outstanding tools from One Date’s arousal section to ratchet up her interest.
Yet what’s different about the Adventure Date is how ACTIVE it is.
With the Adventure Date, you will take her on a legitimate ADVENTURE. Some examples of this:
- Hikes to cool, remote, exciting places in the woods
- Active beach outings (swim together, bodyboard together, throw her in the surf)
- Jaunts to local abandoned “haunted houses”
- Nighttime excursions around memorials, monuments, or other places of local significance
If you do well with your arousal building, you can fool around with her outdoors… OR just whisk her to your place to “unwind” after the date.
The setting is different, but you’ll follow the same One Date “arousal date” structure and use the same One Date arousal tools as with Laughs & Thrills.
Just take her to your Adventure Date location, use the One Date arousal materials, and she’ll be out of her gourd with arousal before you know what happened.
#4: Deep Vibes Date
Sometimes you’ve got a girl you’re in good with, but she needs CONNECTION more than anything.
For her, you want the Deep Vibes Date.
This date puts you in an environment where intimate conversation comes with ease.
The atmosphere, setting, and FEEL of a place are key here.
Some of the best “Deep Vibe” locations:
- Atmospheric bars or lounges that aren’t too crowded
- Cozy cafes with tucked away booths to secret yourselves away in
- Picnics in less trafficked areas
- Drinks and snacks on your building’s rooftop
You’ll have to scout around to find spots for a Deep Vibe Date.
Once you’ve found one though, it’ll be your GO TO location for dates like this.
Once on the Deep Vibe Date, you’ll follow the “connection date” template Chase gives you in One Date.
Use the tips he equips you with to create an INCREDIBLE connection with her and make her feel like she’s known you for years.
Do this and it’s straightforward to invite her to your place… where you get to end the date in the BEST way possible.
#5: Hang Out Date
If you’re in college, or you’ve met a girl in your apartment building, or another casual setting, the Hang Out Date is ideal.
All you do for this date is invite her to “hang out” at your place.
Have snacks and refreshments.
Nachos and dip are a GREAT snack for this, and go well with alcohol.
Another thing you NEED to have is a blanket to curl up under.
Don’t worry if you’ll both be on the couch. Pull the blanket over you anyway.
Women LOVE this… and it makes it so much easier to touch them.
For the Hang Out Date, you can SKIP the usual advice of “don’t watch anything too engaging.” Movies and TV shows are fine.
The rest of the date you’ll run as a classic One Date “hookup date.”
Chase tells you exactly how to sleep with women on this date in One Date Lesson 4.
Follow the steps he lays out, and she won’t get halfway through the movie before her clothes are all over the floor.
MAKE IT ALL HAPPEN ON THE DATE
You’ve got the date plans.
Now get the FORMULA that lets you capitalize on each of these dates types.
Once you have that, you can take a girl on any of these date plans and make her fall COMPLETELY for you in just a single date.
You get all the steps to do that, in the fastest, easiest way imaginable, in Chase Amante’s One Date System:
⇒ Download Steps GET GIRLS On Dates
If you don’t own One Date yet, GET this system.
It’s the only system around that gives you a way to ace dates with girls you really like.
One Date is how you get a bunch of girls or one GREAT girl into your bed and falling in love with you.
Grab your copy of One Date NOW:
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And I’ll see you next time.