“I don’t understand… I did everything right.”
That’s what Tom told me after his girlfriend of three years left him for a guy who, in Tom’s words, “barely does anything for her.”
Here’s the thing: Tom really did do everything “right” – and that was the problem.
Let’s talk about why being “caring” can actually kill attraction…
The Good Guy Paradox
You know what’s messed up?
The same behaviors that society tells us make a “good boyfriend” often end up destroying attraction. It’s like following a recipe that everyone swears by, but always ruins the dish.
Let’s break down 5 “caring” behaviors that secretly push her away:
1. Always Being There For Her
Sounds good, right? Wrong.
When you’re always available:
- Her brain never gets to miss you
- She doesn’t get to feel the pleasure of wanting you
- There’s no space for desire to build
Think about your favorite food. Now imagine eating it for every meal, every day. Not so special anymore, is it?
Real Solution: Create natural space. Let her wonder where you are sometimes. Let her miss you.
2. Trying to Fix All Her Problems
She shares a problem. You offer solutions. You’re being helpful, right?
Here’s what’s actually happening:
- You’re robbing her of the emotional experience she wants
- You’re accidentally positioning yourself as her parent
- You’re killing the polarity that creates attraction
She doesn’t want you to fix it. She wants you to understand it.
Real Solution: Hold space for her emotions without trying to change them.
3. Being Extra Attentive to Her Moods
You notice every slight change in her mood. You ask if she’s okay. You try to cheer her up.
Seems caring, but here’s the truth:
- It makes her responsible for your emotional state
- It shows you’re walking on eggshells
- It feels suffocating
It’s like having someone constantly ask if you’re comfortable. Eventually, you become uncomfortable just from the asking.
Real Solution: Stay solid in your own emotional space while remaining aware of hers.
4. Seeking Her Approval
You run decisions by her. You check if she’s okay with your plans. You want to make sure she’s happy.
But this “consideration” is actually:
- Making you seem insecure
- Shifting responsibility to her
- Killing your natural leadership
It’s like a dance where nobody wants to lead. It feels awkward and uncertain.
Real Solution: Make solid decisions while being open to her input.
5. Over-Expressing Feelings
You tell her how you feel. Often. You’re open about your emotions. You share everything.
Sounds “evolved”, but it’s actually:
- Removing all mystery
- Killing natural tension
- Making everything too easy
It’s like unwrapping a gift before it’s given to you. The magic is gone.
Real Solution: Let feelings be shown more through actions than words.
The Hidden Truth
Here’s what’s really going on…
When you focus too much on being “caring,” you actually:
- Disrupt natural attraction patterns
- Remove healthy tension
- Kill the mystery that creates desire
- Eliminate the space where attraction grows
Think about it…
Remember when you were first dating? The excitement? The uncertainty? The desire?
All that stuff you’re doing to be a “good boyfriend” is actually killing those exact feelings that made her want you in the first place.
The Truth Will Set You Free
The solution isn’t to stop caring. It’s to care in a way that:
- Maintains polarity
- Keeps healthy tension
- Allows space for desire
- Preserves mystery
Most men will never understand this balance. They’ll keep:
- Over-caring their way out of relationships
- Smothering the attraction
- Killing the desire
- Wonder what went wrong
But now you know better.
Want to learn how to truly care for her in a way that makes her want you more, not less?
How to CONTROL her like your puppet…
Some men are so good with women that they know how to practically CONTROL them.
I mean, don’t you know that guy that has the most uncanny ability to get hot women to obsess over him?
Or have you ever had a female friend that seems to be obsessing over another guy?
It’s almost like these men have a special power to control women’s minds like a puppet…
The thing is, what they’re doing is actually simple science. They’re utilizing a covert “language” that makes women subconsciously want them…
…So much so that they’re willing to do ANYTHING to sleep with him.
Want to learn how to use this language? Learn how to make her your personal puppet here:
In it, seduction expert Kate Spring shares the 3 most powerful ways to use this “language” to enslave women…
These 3 tips might be BEST tips you’ll ever hear when it comes to making women obsess over you…
So get to it now…
Talk soon,
Matthew Coast